My Seasons Fucking Greetings Rant

To all those who read this,

It’s Xmas morning, and right now I just want to flip off the nice sunny (albeit brisk) morning brewing outside. My lazy-ass mom (who I visit for the holidays) is hollering to have shit hauled out to an already brimming over trash can after being force to wrap various little chotchkeys, my stepfather is doing what he does best, slaying in bed making Terri Schaivo impressions (though looking strangely like Saddam Hussein in the process), and his home health aide is doing her best to be blissfully unaware.

In a few hours, the relatives are all coming over. There’s the aunt and uncle from Ohio who’s two oldest kids keep overtly trying to bring me back to that fucking fraud ‘Jesus’, along with (hopefully) the 3 younger ones only; the other, more local aunt and uncle who bitch at each other and their two little hellraisers; my stepfather’s mom who’s coping mechanism is obviously busted, and all the drama associated thereof.

The last few years, the one good thing about this day (presents (sorry, but in my family, the phrase ‘Better to give than to receive’ has been proven quite false)) has to be orchestrated several months in advance, not at all unlike what takes place in the Philippines. As they string up lights in the Mall of Asia, I start leaving ideas around. By the time Columbus Day (Canadian Turkey Day) rolls around, they either know what I want, or I’m getting clothes (which I’m pretty sure I have more of than Imelda Marcos).

Well, the sounds of all the Xmas cheer (not to mention holiday noise from the radio) is coming in the room, so I’m going to put on some real music before I go all emo on the family.

MERRY FUCKING XMAS AND A HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR! (*shudder* can’t believe that’s coming up…)

-Biafra

Message to Mitt Romney:

STOP TALKING ABOUT RELIGION YOU DOUCHE, AND PULL OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE WHILE YOU HAVE SOME FREAKING DIGNITY!!! You may have been a halfway decent governor according to some people, but your incessant need to dodge and selectively talk about your Mormon faith is effectively shanking your campaign more efficiently than a murderer does in a child molester behind bars. Recent polling has shown that Americans DO NOT want a member of the LDS church in the White House. Nothing personal man, you just picked the wrong freaking race to run at the wrong freaking time.

In closing, SHUT UP AND PULL OUT OF THE RACE!!!

Xmas shopping at W@1-M@r7*

 

Xmas shopping should be done at night time if you are planning to do it all at that place. About the only hazards you have are crates of products restocking, Floor buffers drag-stripping down the main aisles, and the nagging sound of your own fatigue.

On the plus side, I got home and was able to test out Windows Live Writer (works great w/ WordPress at present).

 

*: Name censored to prevent trademark lawsuit